the bell jar

i've finally read the ultimate sad girl book, the bell jar. and i didn't like it.

honestly, if i was given this book to read while in high school it probably would’ve made it onto my list of favorite books alongside the catcher in the rye, but i’m currently a third year student in college. i’m not that person anymore. in totality, i did not think this book was as profound as women have described it. 

the bell jar doesn't really have a plot and solely focuses on esther greenwood as the novel's main character. there is no underlying story. with that being said, free flowing books are not something i necessarily dislike, but i will say that it poses a greater challenge on the author to keep me engaged in their characters' narrative. it is even more of a challenge for sylvia plath who decided to have the insufferable esther greenwood be the first person narrator and main character of a plotless novel. 

i hated esther. if she truly is a fictional replica of sylvia plath then i don't think we would have gotten along. 

one of my biggest gripes with how plath wrote esther is that she's racist. we learn that in the beginning of the book. she then has a couple racist remarks scattered throughout the book. plath didn't even give her main character a chance and essentially set her up for failure. how was i, an asian reader, supposed to be invested and feel engaged in a book (of a character driven novel) when its main character makes racist descriptions about asian people? the answer is, i wasn't able too. although i was able to finish the book, i couldn't care less what happened to esther by the end. 

i've read the arguments of people who defend plath for the subtle racism in the bell jar, and all i have to say in response is to check the year that this review was written in. while she may be a product of her time period, i am as well. i am reading the bell jar as someone living in the 21st century. my perspective is bound to be different. 

aside from the racism, esther is also the human embodiment of internalized misogyny. she is extremely judgmental of all the women that are in her life, thinking that she herself is different when she isn’t. just because she's a woman doesn't mean she can't be misogynistic. however, the catalyst for her internalized misogyny is attributed more to her mental illness than the patriarchy, only making it worse. most women don't become women haters as a result of being mentally ill, but from the external and systemic factors that are intertwined with gender relations.  

being both racist and relatively misogynistic, esther is essentially one big giant asshole that we follow around for about 200 pages. 

in conclusion, sylvia plath’s writing is beautiful, that is not something i would even contemplate disputing. the symbolism of the bell jar and the metaphors she would use to describe loneliness, depression, and indecisiveness under the umbrella of womanhood were powerful. however i just could not find it in myself to like esther greenwood.